Grace is not my middle name

I am a known klutz. For real. I find bruises constantly on my body. The other morning I woke up and found one on my shoulder. How does one even go about acquiring a bruise on their shoulder? I have no clue. Nor do I know where this one came from. I also trip. A lot. Most times, I trip and there is nothing to even trip over. Like, just walking down the street/hall/whatever and then - BAM!- I'm stumbling. It's kind of amazing. I also drop things for no reason. Today, for instance, I am heating up my lunch (sidenote: I didn't want to eat my lunch today. I had made the gross chicken last night and didn't finish it because it's gross but couldn't make myself throw it out so I was going to make myself eat the leftovers today). I heat this Tupperware container of crap in the microwave in the little break room and stop it and stir it and do everything that you should do to heat things evenly. I start to take it out and then somehow just drop it. All over the counter. It's got rice. This means the rice is EVERYWHERE. Little rice pellets on the counter, in the sink, on the floor. And the sink has no disposal. What does this matter? Oh, just that I have to proceed to scoop out every single piece of chicken and rice with my hands. Lovely. Now, you may be asking how one drops a whole bowl of chicken and rice? I have no clue. There was no reason, nothing that startled me into a such a state that I drop the bowl, no heat coming from the bowl that was so hot that it burned my hands, no airhorn blaring in my ear to make me throw up my hands and hence spilling rice all over. Nope. Just a huge mess of a lady, throwing her lunch all over, colleagues watching me in awe. I have decided that from now on, I will velcro my hands like 2 large Nerf mitts and then velcro all of my utensils so that this may never again happen. Oh! And, as I dropped everything all over, I curse. In a school. I'm such an aswesome person.

On a lighter note, I had to stay late at the jobby job today. Yuck. When I finaly fight off the butthead drivers and make it to mi casa, I decide that I should go for a run. As soon as I am thinking this, I also decide that I need wine. The day has definitely warranted this, right? I hate getting in my car after I get home. I mean, I live in an awesome place where you can walk to whatever you may need so it makes me feel guilty to drive. plus I absolutely HATE driving so why even get in the car if not necessary? So I can't decide - run or go to the store, run or go to the store, run or go to the store? That's when it happens. I get the most brilliant idea ever. I decide to go on a run around the Capital and then RUN TO THE LIQUOR STORE!!! It's brilliant! I get my fitness on and I also get my drink on without having to get in my car! Wonderful. I am the world's greatest problem solver ever.