Save the best for last

So, I saved my best stories from my trip for last. These are the ones that I will bring out when I have nothing to say to someone I've just met. They're similar to my Prague story (where I threw up on myself on in the cab and then yelled at him).



1. We looked for some music to go see while I was there. I love going to see live shows and I love traveling- why not do both? There's a great paper in London called Time Out that lists all the entertainment type stuff that's going on around the city. So we find this listing for an 80's hair band cover thingy that's going on. Um, awesome? LP calls some of his friends, they're down, so we decide to head there. Now, I don't know if anyone else feels the same about that lovely time period in the 80's where the boys wore makeup and used more hairspray than I did to get my bangs to stay up, but I lovelovelove it. I mean, who can argue that Axl Rose was a force to be reckoned with when he screeched through "Welcome to the Jungle?" Yeah, so step off. Anyway, we get to this place (which is called Barden's Boudoir-how hilarious!) and we walk down the stairs. Yes, this place is in a basement. I'm sure that's shocking considering it's name. When I walk in, I see an extremely tall man spinning around, dancing, long hair flowing from under a trucker hat. He's just rocking out- arms up, turning around, bouncing on the floor. He's also the only person on the dance floor. As the song starts to wind down, he heads over to the DJ table. Because he's the DJ. Interesting how the only person dancing is the DJ. In fact, almost every song that this guy played, he would try to stay behind the table and you could see him just bouncing and then boom, he's off to the dance floor. As I'm sitting and laughing in my head at this guy, the band starts setting up. Now, when I think 80's hair metal, I think Poison, Guns n Roses, Whitesnake. This band was a cover band. For Aerosmith. That's right, I said Aerosmith. We're a little pissed because I mean, Aerosmith? Blech. We're thinking of all the later stuff they put out that's utter crap. What was not taken into consideration was that the lead singer was British and trying to fake an American accent while singing and talking to the crowd (not very well!) and that he was wearing a full, one-piece, black sequined jumpsuit. And he brought Axl Rose with him. These guys really got into the part. I was hoping to hear them or see them just regular for a bit but no way. They were not breaking character for a second. It was possibly the best Aerosmith show I've ever seen. And the only.

2. LP and I rented a car in Dublin so we could drive down the coast and take in the sights. While we were in London, we tried to plan our trip. By that, I mean that LP tried to plan some and I stood in front of the mirror picking my face and saying "Uh-huh, that sounds great. Whatever you want." After about an hour and a half of this (while we were hungover) LP looks over and says something groany about not wanting to do it. I absolutely HATE planning trips. Hate it. I love going somewhere and seeing anything but I do not want to be in charge of figuring it all out. So when he says this, my immediate response is "Don't do it. Leave it alone." This leads to us deciding to just not plan anything. (Reality was more like LP decided to hold off planning, I decided I wouldn't plan at all and that led to us just not doing it.) We set off driving on the left from Dublin and I get to be navigator. I absolutely love being a passenger and I had my map and snacks and I was ready to go. I mapped out for us to head southwest from Dublin, down the coast and stop in a small town called Wexford for the night. We get there and find a bed and breakfast (those assholes are obsessed with B & B's. Me? Not so much but they are cheaper than anything else, so there we were.). After driving all day we were ready for a drink so we walked to a place we saw on the way in. It sucked so we decided to head out and find another place. After about 15 minutes of wandering, we decide on a place that had a sign that said "Beer Garden! Covered and Heated!" Which would be why we decided on it. After having a few drinks, the place starts to crowd up and become kind of lively so we decide we'll stay for a while. I go to the bathroom at one point and think I hear a pipe falling on the floor and the sound of a lighter clicking. Like someone is smoking crack. I go out and this chick with messed up teeth and bleach blonde hair assaults me and wants to be my friend. I won't lie. I'm completely frightened of her. She looks like she would go nuts on me if I didn't do what she wanted. I follow her and make LP come with me to her table where her sister is. They start telling me all these crazy stories involving knives, abuse, drinking, just utter craziness. The first girl I met told me about how she was so upset about her sister that she cut her arms. Then she showed me. Most people would get the hell out of there. I began to lecture her on why it is a bad idea to cut yourself and gave her other options to do instead of cutting yourself. Luckily, I still smoked back then and that gave us the perfect excuse to get the f outta there. We then stumble onto these great young guys and we sit with them for a while, chatted and they eventually invite us to their house. We get some drinks for the road (that's right, you get roadies) and stumble to their house where we all get more drinks and sit around talking. I drink 2 glasses of wine and then find some Pringles and eat them all, only to decide that since it was 3 I should take a nap if LP wanted to hang out more. I lay down and am woken up later to LP shaking me. "We have to go." I ask why. The answer. He had thrown up on these guys floor. And then wiped it up. My response? "How much was it?" We get outta there with a quickness, stumble home, think we're locked out and realize that we have the wrong set of keys so we find the right ones. 4 days later: LP gets his house keys out of his pocket and I ask if he got them from my bag because I saw them there the other day. He says they've been in his pocket so I dig these mysterious keys out and show them to him. They belonged to the poor guy who let us in his house. LP is sending them back this week.