What to do, what to do

I understand that my head and heart DO NOT match. Like most people, I want the unattainable, the things I can't have, the unreachables. My head is in one corner, screaming at me about what a moron I am. It tells me not to pick up that phone, not dial those numbers, not to wait as the phone rings and definitely not to leave that message. My smart little brain rationalizes every action that is a mistake and tells me why it is a mistake. It replays all the things I have done wrong in that previous moment and lets me know that I should definitely not do that again. Unfortunately, my heart is a weak piece of shit. As my brain tells me not to pick up the phone, my heart tells me that picking up the phone won't hurt anything, dialing the numbers is actually a good idea, waiting for that phone to ring is a great idea and leaving that message us actually smart because it will remind him that I still care. For every action that my brain tells me is a mistake and why, my heart will debate with great fury and passion, telling me how wrong that silly brain is. After replaying each event and the mistakes made, my heart will turn it around and fantasize it to a completely different chain of events. Events that eventually lead to attaining the unattainable.